Fic rec

One of the darker fics that I've read in a while. So much so that I had to take a breather somewhere in the middle, find myself a fluffy, comforting fic to read, before I could continue.

Title : The Pyrrhic Tongue, The Eyes Undone.
Author : sanyin.
Summary : "Put your brother on a leash if you want to keep him." Samuel goes to war.

Sam gets Dean back from hell, but at a price. The Dean that comes back is not the same Dean as before. This Dean is completely broken, crazed, a shell of his old self. And Sam would do anything to make his brother whole again.

A fascinating, albeit disturbing read.

And it’s then that Sam sees what Dean has hidden with his silence, the scarred wreckage of his tongue, just a stump in the raw insides of his mouth, like fire had licked up the sides, not real flame. Dean snaps his jaw shut at Sam’s look, turns away, another angry look. But it’s a Dean look, like when he used to shy away from Sam’s ministrations after a bad hunt, away from Sam’s accusing words when Dad left them in the lurch.

He turns back, almost shy, and the sound is a terrible thing. Malformed, barely understandable, warped by flame and hurt and years below. Sam.

Muse, where *are* you muse?

Someone gave me feedbacks yesterday for a couple of fics that I wrote almost three years ago which made me ridiculously and giddily happy. Mostly because I didn't think anyone would read anything that far back, and it was just, you know, totally unexpected. Hee, and apparently she liked them too :D

So, anyway, I took a look at those fics because I've quite forgotten what they were about, and I was like, did I really write those? Not that they're masterpieces or anything, but except for some drabbles here and there, and maybe a couple of short ficlets, I could hardly write anything now. Gosh, I'm having trouble stringing two sentences together and there I was, writing stories, with plots mind you, and they were more than 1000 words long. I was awesome! ( tongue firmly in cheek of course *g* ). It was like I was somebody else then.

I'm writing something with a friend, and it was started more than a year ago, but I'm stuck, I'm stuck. I looked at it the other day but the muse is just -- gone. But I will get to it. One of these days. Soon. Ish.

I think the main problem is ( not that it's exactly a *problem* ), there are so many good stuff to read, and I can't concentrate on writing when my mind keeps going to that fic or verse or epic or WIP. So I guess I'm just more of a reader than a writer. It's just that when I look at my old fics, it feels like - could I ever write again?

*sighs*