layne67

I really thought that Torches Blazed (And Sacred Chants Were Praised). is going to be one of those fics where you really have to concentrate to understand what's going on, preferably with a thesaurus by your side, esp when it opened with this para.

It is commonly recognized that the earliest human prediction of the End Times had been carved into a clay tablet in Assyria, back in 2800 BC. "Our people are degenerate in these latter days. There are signs that the world is speedily coming to and end. Bribery and corruption are common," the tablet proclaimed.

Followers of The Blessed Joachim of Fiore rescheduled the emergence of the Antichrist to 1290 AD, after 1260, their initial proposed Dooms-year, had come and gone without a single demonic omen of note.Modern prophecy scholars have proposed that Satan has placed a man in every generation of recorded history for the purpose of fulfilling the role of Antichrist.

So, okay, I was thinking back button? and The Blessed Joachim of Fiore wth is *that*? But then, this is

cormallen's, I just gotta read this. So I gamely read on. I first got the inkling that this fic might not be what I thought it was -

The Yellow Eyed Demon didn't give a fig for clay tablets, Joachite cultists and critics of prophecy scholars, modern or otherwise; he had what in his estimation was a rather important job to do, a very limited window of time in which to do it, and a slight hitch in his plans, due almost entirely to the Infernal Bookkeeping Department, Division of Apocalyptic Records, Subdivision 14 C. The remainder of the blame could be placed squarely at the door of Belial, whose second honeymoon had been both sudden and uncalled for, and whose lack of attention to proper signatures and the timely filing of paperwork had left the Yellow Eyed Demon quite thoroughly annoyed.

It's a laugh per minute from then on, and I was, like, howling with laughter with lines like these

The Yellow Eyed Man's instructions – as relayed earlier by collect call from a hotel in Aruba – had been deceptively simple. "Take the boy, burn down the house, try not to wake the neighbors, and the corner office will have 'Azazel' on the door before you know it."

"I hope that cloven-hoofed bastard rots," Azazel muttered under his breath, ascending the stairs once more, "him and his harlot of a trophy wife. A male child with no siblings, my ass," he concluded, staring at the crib. "Your Diabolical Grace?" he tried, cocking his head, as the baby within gurgled cheerfully. "Most Terrifying Majesty?" he attempted again at the door down the hall, getting nothing but a snore from the boy sleeping behind it.

And yup, our Sam is supposedly the Anti-Christ and Dean is his Chosen Companion aka the Knight of Darkness aka The Prince of Abominations.

Do read it for a good, long laugh!!