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layne67I've been watching 'On the head of a pin' for the umpteenth time and these scenes, God, it's like watching them for the first time, over and over again.
1. Such an INTENSE scene, this one. I was practically holding my breath throughout the entire scene!
Castiel telling Dean that the fate of the world rests with Dean.
And Dean, broken and beaten : Then you guys are screwed. I can't do it. It's too big. Alastair was right, I'm not all here. I'm not strong enough. I guess I'm not man enough either of our Dads want me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.
2. The torture scene. Dean with his eyes so flat, his face expressionless, his jaw set and his mouth a thin line of ... anger? Despair? I can't really say what he was thinking at that time because he was doing it against his will.
And this is just after Alastair taunted him with that "Daddy's little girl" insult.
Alastair : Dean Winchester ... Daddy's little girl. He broke, he broke in ... thirty. Not the man your Daddy want you to be.
God, I can't imagine what went through his mind right then. That must have HURT, worse than any physical tortures could ever be. Dean who never did stop seeking John's approval in all things that he did or didn't do. Alastair must have gotten real pleasure in calling Dean a girl, and for some reasons my mind went to Mary and her parents, how she named Dean after her mother. Did she wish for a daughter then? Maybe she had secretly hoped that the YED won't take her child if the baby was a girl or something. Nothing to do with Alastair I guess, but my mind just sort of randomly went there.
3. Dean looking through the window at Alastair strapped and trapped, and the angels were asking him to interrogate Alastair. I thought his voice changed when he said this - You asked me to open that door and walk through it. - Was that fear in his voice? Fear and anger and reluctance rolled into one, he didn't even sound like himself then.
4. And lastly, I love this part earlier on in the episode when they walked into their motel room and found Castiel and Uriel in it, and Sam almost immediately stood in front of Dean, AND DEAN LET HIM. It's like Sam was saying "Whatever it is you want him for, you can't have himhe's mine". Such a role reversal, don't you think? I mean, I can't imagine the old,pre-hell, always-have-the-bed-nearest-the-door Dean letting Sam do that!
And this has just occured to me. Uriel was saying that Lucifer, their brother, defied their Father to defend the rest of them, that he fell because he didn't follow orders, that he didn't want to bow to a human.
I literally felt goosebumps on my skin when I suddenly thought of another brother who defied his father, always questioning, and was banished when he refused to follow orders.
John : You walked out that door and you're never coming back.
And the other brother with his blind faith in his father ...
*CHILLS*
Caps by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
oxoniensis
1. Such an INTENSE scene, this one. I was practically holding my breath throughout the entire scene!
Castiel telling Dean that the fate of the world rests with Dean.
And Dean, broken and beaten : Then you guys are screwed. I can't do it. It's too big. Alastair was right, I'm not all here. I'm not strong enough. I guess I'm not man enough either of our Dads want me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.
2. The torture scene. Dean with his eyes so flat, his face expressionless, his jaw set and his mouth a thin line of ... anger? Despair? I can't really say what he was thinking at that time because he was doing it against his will.
And this is just after Alastair taunted him with that "Daddy's little girl" insult.
Alastair : Dean Winchester ... Daddy's little girl. He broke, he broke in ... thirty. Not the man your Daddy want you to be.
God, I can't imagine what went through his mind right then. That must have HURT, worse than any physical tortures could ever be. Dean who never did stop seeking John's approval in all things that he did or didn't do. Alastair must have gotten real pleasure in calling Dean a girl, and for some reasons my mind went to Mary and her parents, how she named Dean after her mother. Did she wish for a daughter then? Maybe she had secretly hoped that the YED won't take her child if the baby was a girl or something. Nothing to do with Alastair I guess, but my mind just sort of randomly went there.
3. Dean looking through the window at Alastair strapped and trapped, and the angels were asking him to interrogate Alastair. I thought his voice changed when he said this - You asked me to open that door and walk through it. - Was that fear in his voice? Fear and anger and reluctance rolled into one, he didn't even sound like himself then.
4. And lastly, I love this part earlier on in the episode when they walked into their motel room and found Castiel and Uriel in it, and Sam almost immediately stood in front of Dean, AND DEAN LET HIM. It's like Sam was saying "Whatever it is you want him for, you can't have him
And this has just occured to me. Uriel was saying that Lucifer, their brother, defied their Father to defend the rest of them, that he fell because he didn't follow orders, that he didn't want to bow to a human.
I literally felt goosebumps on my skin when I suddenly thought of another brother who defied his father, always questioning, and was banished when he refused to follow orders.
John : You walked out that door and you're never coming back.
And the other brother with his blind faith in his father ...
*CHILLS*
Caps by
oxoniensis
