This is the hurt!Dean, protective!Sam, protective!Castiel in me ( still ) squeeing.

[layne67]

I've been watching 'On the head of a pin' for the umpteenth time and these scenes, God, it's like watching them for the first time, over and over again.

1. Such an INTENSE scene, this one. I was practically holding my breath throughout the entire scene!

Castiel telling Dean that the fate of the world rests with Dean.

And Dean, broken and beaten : Then you guys are screwed. I can't do it. It's too big. Alastair was right, I'm not all here. I'm not strong enough. I guess I'm not man enough either of our Dads want me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.






2. The torture scene. Dean with his eyes so flat, his face expressionless, his jaw set and his mouth a thin line of ... anger? Despair? I can't really say what he was thinking at that time because he was doing it against his will.


And this is just after Alastair taunted him with that "Daddy's little girl" insult.

Alastair : Dean Winchester ... Daddy's little girl. He broke, he broke in ... thirty. Not the man your Daddy want you to be.

God, I can't imagine what went through his mind right then. That must have HURT, worse than any physical tortures could ever be. Dean who never did stop seeking John's approval in all things that he did or didn't do. Alastair must have gotten real pleasure in calling Dean a girl, and for some reasons my mind went to Mary and her parents, how she named Dean after her mother. Did she wish for a daughter then? Maybe she had secretly hoped that the YED won't take her child if the baby was a girl or something. Nothing to do with Alastair I guess, but my mind just sort of randomly went there.



3. Dean looking through the window at Alastair strapped and trapped, and the angels were asking him to interrogate Alastair. I thought his voice changed when he said this - You asked me to open that door and walk through it. - Was that fear in his voice? Fear and anger and reluctance rolled into one, he didn't even sound like himself then.


4. And lastly, I love this part earlier on in the episode when they walked into their motel room and found Castiel and Uriel in it, and Sam almost immediately stood in front of Dean, AND DEAN LET HIM. It's like Sam was saying "Whatever it is you want him for, you can't have him he's mine". Such a role reversal, don't you think? I mean, I can't imagine the old,pre-hell, always-have-the-bed-nearest-the-door Dean letting Sam do that!


And this has just occured to me. Uriel was saying that Lucifer, their brother, defied their Father to defend the rest of them, that he fell because he didn't follow orders, that he didn't want to bow to a human.

I literally felt goosebumps on my skin when I suddenly thought of another brother who defied his father, always questioning, and was banished when he refused to follow orders.

John : You walked out that door and you're never coming back.

And the other brother with his blind faith in his father ...

*CHILLS*

Caps by oxoniensis

Comments

[katikat.livejournal.com]

I also loved that Uriel thought that Lucifer was beautiful! XP

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Oh Lucifer was supposed to be the most beautiful of them all. That's why he thought he was better than humans!

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Can you not make me cry?

[layne67.livejournal.com]

But in a good way, I hope? :) I think that's my most-watched episode of this season, and those scenes the most-watched scenes!!

DEANDEANDEAN

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it's in a good way. :)

Btw, I really love the scene where Sam's mad at Castiel. :D

[layne67.livejournal.com]

The one where Castiel said he couldn't heal Dean? That's a good one, too.

Btw, that first pic above, if I didn't know what that scene is all about, I would have said that Dean is "merajuk". Look at that downward turn of his mouth. And those shoulders ...

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

But he is kinda merajuk, too, right? :D

Btw, you know the pic of Dean and Sam in the hospital that I posted? I keep seeing things and think that Sam is holding Dean's hand...

:D

[layne67.livejournal.com]

And I keep thinking of Jared sitting by Jensen's hospital bed in your chapter 7 of LH!!! :DD

Sam must have the first person Dean saw when he regained conciousness. That scene with Castiel, from the look of it, Dean had been awake for quite some time, you know, from the way he was propped up on the bed and he's no longer on the respirator too.

Btw, I just found this.

http://destina.livejournal.com/467215.html#cutid1

I haven't read it yet but it's Sam and Dean by that hospital bed right after Dean woke up.

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree with you very much about Sam and Dean and Castiel. There is no way Dean is only awake when Castiel is there.

Btw, I want to show you this: http://gaelicspirit.livejournal.com/41221.html

Missing scenes from the warehouse to sometime after Dean talks to Castiel. Gen. Lovely. :)

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Thank you!! I'm going to read that tomorrow. Hee, I'm guessing there'll be Sam carrying Dean to the car and bringing him to the hospital perhaps? **rubs hands in glee**

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I READ!!!!!!!!

My response (http://gaelicspirit.livejournal.com/41221.html?thread=720901#t720901) :)))

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

:)

I'm glad you like.

Gaelic is one of my fave authors from ffnet. Her fics are long and SO good!

*hugs*

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I symphatized a bit more with Sam after reading that. And isn't it just heart-wrenching when Dean asked Sam to go away, and Sam refused? And Dean saying yes, he's weak?

I just hope that that's what really happened, that Kripke's Sam was exactly like that.

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

I believe Sam is never bad in Kripke's eyes. I'm sure of that. In an interview he said that he never intended for Sam to go dark side. Kripke likes it if the story is that Sam uses his dark power for good purposes. :)

[evening-spirit.livejournal.com]

Uh-oh, awesome observations! I love how you noticed Sam standing in front of Dean, I have to re-watch that scene. It's brilliant!

As is the prallel of the brothers and the brothers. Really, unbelievable. Although I'd like to think of it as humanity and angels being brothers and Dean/human loving Sam/reluctant angel/Lucifer. I dunno. Silly probably. My theories never come true, so whatever. ;)

Is it Friday yet? :)

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I noticed Sam standing in front of Dean straightaway and I immediately thought that wasn't like Dean. He was usually the one protecting. Ha, the protector is now the protected - I LIKE!!!

There's a huge difference between Sam and Lucifer though, Sam made his peace with John ( in a way ), Lucifer never did, with God I mean, not with John *g*

48 hours more to Friday!!

[evening-spirit.livejournal.com]

See, maybe it's time for Lucifer to make peace with the Almighty? Sam has experience, he could help Luce with that.

[angels3.livejournal.com]

Awesome thoughts and I love the pictures. I have a feeling this season is really going to kill me.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

If the last episode was anything to go by, the rest of the season IS going to kill me. Oh how I hope the next episode(s) won't be lame or something!!

[angels3.livejournal.com]

I think it's going to be funny. The break we need before they torture US like Alastair did Dean. *whimpers*

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Guh. I watched the clips for 4.17 and Dean looks SO gorgeous. :D

[layne67.livejournal.com]

You clicked the spoilers?!?

*spanks you*

:D

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

I couldn't help it! I need something to cheer me up after the last episode.

Do you know what the ep is about? OMG, OMG!

:D

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Don't you dare!!! :DD

[vshendria.livejournal.com]

I really think that this may turn out to be one of the best episodes of all time. I wish that Ben Edlund would continue to write the drama eps because he really is fantastic at it.

I was fascinated by all the bits you mention. At the "Daddy's little girl" bit I linked it back to the lines about "pokes" and "prods" and thought that if one wanted they really could read in some sexual assault. And why should we be so fastidious as to not read that in? Any good torturer would have to include it. And of course, when Dean plunges in that knife, down low, there are definite connotations of penetration. The intimate tableau, the expressions that cross his face, the way he just holds the knife there. It would have been better if he pulled it out and plunged in again, but there were probably limits to what Standards and Practices would allow.

When Dean was first staring at Alastair through that window, his eyes were so dark and tortured. I could barely see his face at all. I thought he looked terrified.

Sigh. I am never going to get over this episode.

And may I say how much I love protective, dangerous Sam. I want more more more.

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Thought the same too about prods and pokes... :(

[layne67.livejournal.com]

At the "Daddy's little girl" bit I linked it back to the lines about "pokes" and "prods" and thought that if one wanted they really could read in some sexual assault.

Oh God, YES! I thought that too!! And the way Alastair was saying that he was in heaven when he first saw Dean walking in ...

And yes, Dean was terrified alright, and his voice, it was like he was choking or something, it was almost unrecognizable as his!

[chloe-amethyst.livejournal.com]

The Lucifer-Sam parallel hit me the first time I saw it. I think this episode should be henceforth called The Parallel Episode because there were so many of those in it. All over the place. Yaay!

[layne67.livejournal.com]

It has been there at the back of my mind all this time I think, with all the talks and speculations of Sam being the anti-christ or Lucifer himself, but it was only when Uriel was saying all those things about "our brother" that it hit me, hard, about Sam and Lucifer and Dean and Castiel and their fathers. And you know, I suppose Kripke has this storyline right from the beginning in season one, hasn't he?