(no subject)

[layne67]

That hurt.

My one happy memory from that episode. And even at that I cried.






That last scene? It was like listening to a door slamming shut in the distance.

/is depressed.

I was planning to read all the reviews posted after watching Dark Side but now I don't think I can. I don't think there's anything anyone could say that could cheer me up. Is there? Anyone here has read any happy-making, feel-good meta/review? Link me, please?

It's not that the episode is bad, it's good but it's so depressing. Even that PBJ scene made me want to weep. Never have I wanted a comedic episode so badly like I do right now.

Edit : Colin Ford made me happy. And so did Ash.

Comments

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

You mean 5.16?

[layne67.livejournal.com]

See how that episode had messed me up I couldn't even get the numbering right :(

*sniffles*

Oh Shinta, I was so down last night :((

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

I suspect this ep will divide Sam girls and Dean girls. Already I read someone's review that attacks Dean and I'm totally mad. :(

[katikat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I came across some "Dean, what a whiner!" reactions too and they pissed me off like you wouldn't believe it! Right, so when there's no emotional backlash, fans complain. When there is an emotional backlash, fans complain. WTF!

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Dean gave his all to his family, and having that said aloud by whatever that thing which was masquerading as Mary, and esp when that was what Dean had probably been thinking all along - that it was all him - that must have hurt. I mean, he loved Sam, and to see that his brother didn't love him like he did ...

I've learnt a long time ago to avoid the whiner!Dean v selfish!Sam argument, neither can, or want, to see the other's point of argument!

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Heheh, you're right! :D

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I think this time it's Dean who's walking away, him leaving Sam instead of the other way round. He may not do it physically ( yet ) but what he did there was symbolic of that, and in a way it's even worse. Let the Sam girls grief in piece - the anger always comes first before anything else.

[munibunny.livejournal.com]

Gotta say, the joy on Dean's face when he and Sammy were lighting those fireworks... and to know that one of his "heaven moments" was a time that he made Sam happy? That had me in tears! In 1996, he would have been 17? 18? What an awesome brother he must have been, huh?

[layne67.livejournal.com]

The only thing that spoiled that scene for me was having images of Brock Kelly in my head. Uninvited.

I have to go looking for Ben pics to get those out of my mind. Eeeps.

[munibunny.livejournal.com]

hahaha! Yes, that happened to me too. I forced myself to thing of young!Jensen. :D

[sevenandthree.livejournal.com]

dean winchester, you are an awesome brother.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

He is. A million times is.

[angels3.livejournal.com]

My heart bled and bled!!!!

Can we trade in old Sam and get young Sam in his place?

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I can't hear that song again without thinking of that scene *weeps*

I've been thinking about it and the only explaination that I could come up is Zachariah wanted them to be at odds again. Not that they're in a good place to begin with but I think he wanted Dean to leave Sam, made it easier for him to say yes to Michael maybe, knowing what he knows now, of the past and the future, knowing that he was never part of Sam's happy moments.

The only consolation for me was, Jess wasn't there either and I was expecting her to feature prominently in Sam's memories so that's something. Along with the fact the whole thing was orchestraed ( sp? ) by Zachariah.

[angels3.livejournal.com]

My husband and middle daughter were working last night and my oldest was out so none of them have seen the episode yet. I usually watch it again with whomever missed it but I swear I don't know if I can sit through that heart ache again.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I was crying when I watched the firework scene, getting those caps. Oh Angela, Dean's expression of wonder at Sam's happiness, and when Sam hugged him ... *cries again*

[munibunny.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think I cried more the second time I watched that scene.

[angels3.livejournal.com]

Like I said I want to trade the old for the young.

I shudder to think how badly John reacted to Sam running away and how old he was when he pulled that shit. Especially for him to be gone two weeks.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Speaking of that scene, was the dog Jared's? Harley or maybe Sadie? ( I can't tell which is which )

[angels3.livejournal.com]

No Harley is huge he's part Mastif I think and Sadie is part Dingo or something like that she has these really big bat ears, but she's cute.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Oh okay. I wonder why they didn't use Jared's because that would be so awesome!

[angels3.livejournal.com]

Maybe his dogs aren't in Vancouver anymore.

[oxer12.livejournal.com]

I cried. But I looooved this episode. *hugs boys*

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I thought that last scene in episode 2 ( I think ), the one where Sam said he should go away and Dean agreed, I thought that was the bleakest moment of the show but Dean throwing away that amulet ... there's just no word to describe that. It's like he has given up on them, maybe not on Sam per se, but them, and the SamandDean!girl in me just broke ...

[oselle.livejournal.com]

That first pic is the best cap I've seen. Oh my God. Just...

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I know, right? That simple wonder in his eyes, his joyful expressions, he looked as young as Sammy there. And oh, Jensen and Colin totally nailed that scene, they were awesome great!

[chloe-amethyst.livejournal.com]

It became pretty clear to me that the memories brought forth were orchestrated by Zacharius in order to undermine Dean's resolve. Dean is the hard one to crack and Zacharius knows it. Showing him repeated scenes of Sam w/o him was genius. Plus the boys were the ones who guessed the scenes were a "greatest hits" montage. The angels, who would know for sure, never said.

When it first became clear that the memories were arranged malevolently was during the PB&J scene. Despite the hugs and kisses, no child, even one as young as 4, would count parents fighting and one gone away as one of the best times of their life. I know too many who have been through this (not the least of whom is me), and parents fighting and/or leaving is terrifying even to 2 year olds (and even if it's an abusive parent who left), regardless of how hard the other parent may try to give comfort. Other big clues were the lack of Jess, with whom Sam's happiness would be completely expected.

We've known for 5 years that Sam had a very unhappy childhood (so did Dean, but he tries to be more positive about it), and we understand why and how that came to be, as well as how Dean came to be who he is. It's so much more complicated than simply saying one loved the other more. You can love someone with every bit of your being, and still be miserable due to other circumstances.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

The absence of Jess, in what you appropropriately called "the greatest hits" ( good one, that! ) was somehow comforting to me, because if Jess weren't there, then it somehow put Dean on the "same level" as Jess, and that's a good place to be, if you know what I mean. That was before it occured to me that Zachariah might have a hand in manipulating those memories ( yes, I totally agree with you on that! )

no child, even one as young as 4, would count parents fighting and one gone away as one of the best times of their life.

Oh, I didn't think of that! Yes, that's very true indeed.

Zachariah certainly knew what would hurt the boys' most, and you know, those were not so much the brothers' happiest memories as much as the other brother's unhappy ones, with the firework scene as a prologue.

[chloe-amethyst.livejournal.com]

That fireworks scene was so warm and powerful and important, and I think it set Dean up for a big fall at the end. Such a tricksy show!

[rieyll.livejournal.com]

This episode far exceeded my expectations. It's probably one of the best episodes of the season for me.

My heart broke over and over again in this ep. Oh, Dean. Oh, Sam. Oh, Castiel!

(When Sam got shot in the teaser, and Dean's face, I was already pretty much in tears. The rest of the episode killed me.)

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Yes it's good but it's so bleak! Things haven't been good between them since Dean came back from hell but I've always clung to the hope that as long as Dean believes in them, things would be alright. And now I'm just so afraid that Dean has reached the end of his road, and now it's up to Sam to make things alright between them again.

Aagh, I hate the writers!!!

[casey28.livejournal.com]

The scene with Colin Ford was the sweetest thing ever! And the closing scene, the saddest.... ;_;

It's very possible Zach was manipulating what memories they saw, but either way, they had no choice over what was shown, and they only saw a few of them. We never got a chance to see any of Sam's happy memories of Dean, and I'm sure he had many (just like the opening scene).

Sam does love Dean, I have no doubt about that. And Dean still loves Sam, he's just hurting, and he's in a very sensitive place now. And you know what made me most happy? It's canon now, that they're soulmates, and they were in a shared heaven. Also, Sam tried to offer hope to Dean, saying the two of them can face whatever's coming, together.

I want to write a meta thingie about this episode, or at least try to.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I didn't actually get that part about them being soul-mates. I saw people talking about it and I wanted to watch the episode again for that part particularly but I don't know whether my heart could take being broken all over again :(

How was it said, the part about them being soul-mates? Which scene and who said it?

I think it was almost definitely Zachariah who was behind the memories. Like what I was saying to Chloe above, the memories were more of the other brother's sad ones - Dean's especially, and Sam on what he never had. The firework scene was just the entree to the main course, and see how Sam wasn't there to witness Dean's happy memories of them together?

[casey28.livejournal.com]

It's in the scene with Ash, when he tells them that each person has their own personal heaven.

Ash: “See, you gotta stop thinking of Heaven as one place. It’s more like a buttload of places all crammed together. Like Disneyland, except without the Anti-Semitism.”
Sam: “Disneyland?”
Ash: “Hmm-mm. See you got, Winchesterland. Ashland. A whole mess of everybodyelselands. Put’em all together...Heaven. Right? At the center of it all, is the Magic Kingdom...the Garden.”
Dean: “So everybody gets a little slice of paradise?”
Ash: “Pretty much. A few people share. Special cases, whatnot.”
Dean: “What do you mean special?”
Ash: “Aw, you know...like...soulmates.”

So, Sam and Dean are together, in a shared heaven, therefore, they are soulmates. :)

It most likely is, and not only was Sam not around to see Dean's happy memory of them together, the only other memory that Dean had wasn't totally a happy one (his parents fighting over the phone), plus Sam was sad because he couldn't interact with their mom. I don't think these memories define what heaven is to them, but somehow, it gets talked about, as if it is.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Aargh, I wish the episodes that I downloaded came with captions!

So, I guess that meant Ash and Pamela are soul-mates, yeah?

[casey28.livejournal.com]

Just like Ash brought Sam and Dean in to his heaven (because he's a genius, and figured out how to enter and exit different heavens), he did the same thing with Pamela. He brought her from her heaven, to his, so she could speak with the brothers. I assume she went back, after the boys left. She even described her heaven to Dean, that it's one long show at the Meadowlands.

I have faith that the boys will work through all their stuff, and that Sam has the amulet now. I can deal with the angst a little better, knowing that they're soulmates.