This story broke me in more ways than one.

[layne67]

Want to know how it feels like to have your heart ripped out and shredded into millions of pieces? Read this then.

When It's Over by wynter_rebel.

I hesitated to read this at first, not because it's gen, there're lots of gen fics that I read and love, but because of the whole set-up of the story. Not my usual SamandDean, and I'd usually steer clear from this type of fics. In fact I did stop after the first chapter, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. And it's higly rec'd by someone. So.

Finished the whole thing this morning. And I couldn't. Stop. Crying. The author said to bring tissues. Towels are more like it. Huge and fluffy ones, to soak up all the tears that I *guarantee* that you'll shed throughout the story. Especially in the last two chapters. I've never cried this hard reading a story before. Kind of hate the author a little for writing it.

Summary: After a horrible accident, Sam and Dean have to relearn what it is to be a family.

Yeah, it's Dean whummpage right from the word go. And oh, I wanted so badly to hate Sam in this story, but I couldn't. Because at the end of the day, you have to live your own dreams, your own life, and not someone else's. No matter how much you love that person.

A love story, not the Wincesty kind, but a love story all the same. And sometimes, sometimes that is the best kind.

That’s the reason he was okay with this. His whole life, the only thing he’d ever cared about more than life itself was the notion that he needed to take care of Sammy. He knew that Sam was okay and that he would always be okay. Because he’d gotten what he wanted. There was nothing more Dean could offer him.

With that thought, Dean felt his body relax in a way it hadn’t done in years. Not just an untensing of muscles. It was an untensing of duty, of fear, of watchfulness. It was a release of worry. It was a resignation of a post he’d been perched on, guarding since he was four years old. And Dean had never felt so calm, so peaceful in all his life. It was okay. The job was done and he could relax.

And to pour salt over the wound, so to speak, this song was played on the car radio while I was driving to work. Cue for more tears.'Kenangan Terindah', The Sweetest Memory - by Samson. When what was fated for me, is the best for you, you'll be the sweetest memory of my life. I know. Cheese with a capital C. Stop rolling your eyes.

Oh I need to cry with someone over this. Anyone? Please?

And munibunny. You probably shouldn't read this story.

Comments

[munibunny.livejournal.com]

Okay, why? Does somebody die here? :)

I have to answer your email but I haven't been online much in the last couple of days. Sorry! I know you wanna know.... :)

Oh, hey, would you believe shadowc44 is looking over my shoulder as I write this? Are you jealous yet? *hee*

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Yup, I'm turning several shades of green now. Heheh. Hi Shari!! *waves frantically*

And to your other question. Yes. It is. And no warning, too. It's sad right from the very beginning, and serve me right for telling you that in some death fics, warnings would kind of spoil a story. And I think I had already done that for you. Spoil the story, I mean.

Read it? With Shari? Then you can cry on each other's shoulders.

[ala-tariel.livejournal.com]

Someone died in the story? Who was it?

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Read the first para. You'd know who that would be.

*cries again*

I really bawled my heart out this morning. I went to work with puffy eyes and a red nose :(

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Here it is :

There was a pop, a twinge of pain, and then it was over. Just like that. No spectacular final battle, no going out in a blaze of glory, no heroic last stand to celebrate the finale of the life he knew. Just a pop. Then a jerk. And Dean Winchester, the hunter, was done. Done with heroism, done with chivalry, done with hunting, done with everything. And the moment he stared down at his toes and watched as they refused to move, refused to twitch, refused to do anything but sit still and taunt him, he began wondering which gun would leave the least mess of blood and brain matter when he put it in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Because Dean was many things, but parapalygic wasn't one of them.

[munibunny.livejournal.com]

Oh, I read this a long time ago... Yes, very sad fic. I remember crying my way through it. :)

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I think I cried the hardest for that fic. When Dean said that he bought that drum set for Hannah - I bawled. And I bawled yet again when they said that they hanged the puzzle that Dean completed on the wall.

Honey, please I need another chapter of MA, please!!

[layne67.livejournal.com]

But Sam leaving Dean and marrying Sarah hurt me more than anything, even dying Dean :/

[shadowc44.livejournal.com]

(Waves back!)

I think I'd better skip this one. I can sometimes read deathfics, but I don't want to read about Sam leaving Dean for Sarah, when Dean is clearly suffering and needs him. It will make me pissed at Sam, and I do try to avoid that!

[dev-earl.livejournal.com]

Ooh. I HATE that Samson song. SamandDean is possibly why. :/

It's funny. I LOVE (psycho! pyscho!) writing deathfics and/or angst to the nth degree, but I'd only read angst by other people, never deathfics. Huh.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I could take death!fics, the angstier the better. A good cry is almost as good as a laugh! Must be all those endorphins released.

It's when one of them goes off with another, male or female, that I couldn't take. Which was why I thought I couldn't read that fic at first. But hurt!Dean won.

Aku yang lemah tanpamu,
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang t’lah hilang darimu yang mampu menyanjungku
Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun aku mampu

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang t’lah terukir
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Omg that just so screams SamandDean to me, esp the Dean in this story *BAWLS*

[dev-earl.livejournal.com]

I'm such a hypocrite 'cause I MIGHT be plotting an angst piece based off Kaer's Izinku Pergi. Meep.

Ooh. You might not like that J² piece I've been working on. /spoiler-ish

[tj-smartz.livejournal.com]

Hmmm - I am thinking this is a bad idea for me right now plus I have a feeling your not telling us something here - is this a death!fic?

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Read the first chapter, it's quite short, then decide whether you want to continue or not. Though I have to warn you, it's going to be one hell of an emotional ride. I was a total wreck yesterday, worse than my post-'We Were Twenty' breakdown.

But then, you know me, I'm a sucker for anything angsty, esp when it's broken, hurt Dean.

I'd say, read it! Then go to Phil for some tlc. You'll need it. Or you could give me a ping ( hopefully my internet woulld be okay, it's a little wonky right now )

[tj-smartz.livejournal.com]

Oh man. I am so undecided. See the thing is, one of my mates went in to have heart surgery on Monday. We talked early monday morning, and if things went well I should have heard from her monday evening or Tuesday morning. I haven't heard a thing and I am freaking the fuck out. That plus I can't read a death!fic on a good day anyway - they kill me for weeks afterwards - I meltdown something fierce. Now this either sounds like a good idea coz I can get my RL angst out via fic or it could go the opposite and make it so much worse. See - predictament. And I really really want to read now. Ah fuck it, I am printing this and reading at lunchtime. I may well ping you in about an hour or so. Beware - I could possibly need a shoulder to cry on! WISH ME LUCK!

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Should I read it? I'll save it anyway.

Samson, huh? :D

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Read it read it read it!!!! The song would give you an idea what the story's going to be like :DD

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

I read the first chapter and wept already. I have to switch to something else first. :)

[angels3.livejournal.com]

No absolutely not DO NOT READ THIS MUNIBUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I read this over at ff and bawled my freaking eyes out. I had a migraine from crying.

Awesome story and well written but if you can't take crying non stop don't read it. I was sad for days and still have flashes of scenes from this story.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I just read it again just now, and the last two chapters broke me again, and I bawled just like I did the first time I read it.

Poor, poor Dean, the funeral omg. I mostly remember Dean with the gun to his head, Sam finding him like that, omg I'm tearing up again now. You know, I found myself wishing that Sam would take time-off to be with Dean, just the two of them together, without the family around. Though I have to admit that Hannah had been very good for Dean.

But it broke my heart a little that Sam didn't name his son after Dean :((

[angels3.livejournal.com]

Broke my freaking heart period. *sniffles*

[chloe-amethyst.livejournal.com]

I read this some months ago. It's a very wrenching read and quite well done. So very sad. But it seemed like it had to go that way. There ultimately was no other living for him. :-(

[layne67.livejournal.com]

I was a total wreck after I read that story. That was one of the times I really wish that there was an LJ-friend right there with me, because no one else would understand. I wept, I really, really wept, and oh Dean!!!!

[chloe-amethyst.livejournal.com]

Yes, so true. I had thought for a minute that the Uncle Dean connection might save him, but it was not to be. :`-(

[07nathalie.livejournal.com]

Dear Layne,

many, many moons ago you kindly invited me to join you in the weeping - but so shortly after the s3 finale I couldn't for the love of god read this story again
But....BUT....now that in the "real world" (gosh, I am so sick!) all is well and happy again, the first thing - after watching the s4 premiere - was OF COURSE reading this story again.
Now, I am ready to weep!