Five ...

[layne67]

God, how on earth did I ever survive the internet before Streamyx *groans* I'm at the in-laws for the weekend, using dial-up, and it's taking ages for a page to download :/

But I have to post this, because it's FIVE DAYS to SPN season 4 premier!!!

5. 'Home'. In Lawrence, Kansas. Where Dean spent the first four years of his life, happy, with both his parents alive, and where Sam was born. Sam and Dean went back to Lawrence after Sam had his visions/nightmares where he saw a woman trapped in a burning house, their old home.

This scene came after their visit to see Jenny, the current owner of their old home, when her young daughter indvertantly told them about that thing in the closet, the figure in fire, and Sam immediately thought that this might be the thing that had killed their mother, and Jessica.

Dean wasn't so sure. Here's Dean turning aorund, making sure that Sam wasn't following him to the men's room.


He took out his phone.


Dialled a number. I already knew by then that Dean was calling his father.


And he got John's voice message, "Call my son Dean ..."


"Dad ... I don't know what to do."


I love this scene to bits, because this is where we see Dean at his most vulnerable, not the cocky and super-snarky older brother, always knowing what to do, but a very unsure young man faced for the first time the probabilty of finding the demon that killed their mother, a life-long quest of John Winchester. And he had no idea what to do. It's heart-breaking to see Dean hiding his vulnerabilty from his brother, not wanting to shatter the image of a Dean who always has a plan, always knowing what to do in all situations. His voice breaking, he left his message with John.

Omg, I just want to hug and cuddle him there, he looked so devastated and broken and on the verge of tearing up, too, I swear. And there's nothing more angsty than Dean with a trembling lower lip and eyes shiny with unshed tears!

Six : Four

Caps from here and here.

Comments

[ellie-fo-20.livejournal.com]

this is where we see Dean at his most vulnerable, not the cocky and super-snarky older brother, always knowing what to do, but a very unsure young man faced for the first time the probabilty of finding the demon that killed their mother

i couldnt put it into better words, i just want to give dean hugs and kisses and make him feel all better.
oh how i wanted to kick johns ass for not showing up until the end of the eppy, he should of been there helping his boys.

great scene choose Layne :)

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Ellie :))

Dean at his most insecure and vulnerable always makes me feel all choked up. Maybe because it's such a contrast to his usual cocky self!

[ellie-fo-20.livejournal.com]

your welcome :)

we hadnt seen this side of him yet and it gets me every time i see this eppy.

[i-o-r-h-a-e-l.livejournal.com]

Oh Dean. And he always looks so vulnerable when dealing with his Dad, whether it's directly facing him or just calling him. Dean when with Dad must be the rea Dean, unsure of what to do unless his Dad approves. Oh goodness. What has John done to him? *sniffs*

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Dean loves John so very much. He's Sam's big brother, he has to be strong for Sam, but he's John's son, he's allowed to show John his weakness.

The other phone-call in LDC is equally heart-breaking, too, isn't it? Sam's asleep there, but Dean felt that he couldn't talk to John with Sam there either, he had to go to the bathroom!

I don't think John did anything wrong with Dean. It's how Dean is. John treat Sam the same way, but Sam didn't become the good soldier that Dean was. Sam rebelled, because that's the way Sam was. But then maybe that's because John left Sam more in Dean's care ...

[shadowc44.livejournal.com]

Dean at his most vulnerable, not the cocky and super-snarky older brother, always knowing what to do, but a very unsure young man I like this type of Dean a lot better. It's what makes his usual personality a lot more bearable, to me. There are definitely times when it's good to have badass!Dean around, but when he's just being really cocky and sarcastic, I don't like him. This scene in particular shows how much he misses his dad, and wants reassurance that John gives a damn, about either of them. Sometimes John is just so damned easy to hate, you know?

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Dean has his layers, not just in the clothes that he wears but in his personality as well. I think he needs those layers to survive, a kind of protection to the real him, which he's careful not let others see, especially Sam. I think it comes with his abandonment issues, brought about by Mary's death and re-enforced by Sam leaving him for Stanford, and John leaving him for the hunting. I think Dean's always preparing himself to be left by Sam again, any time.

[shadowc44.livejournal.com]

I think you're probably right about all of that, and I totally agree that he's always expecting the other shoe to drop, for Sam to say he's going back to college or something.

I'm sure Dean had so much responsibility, way too much when he was a kid, that he's developed these defense mechanisms. They just remind me way too much of people I know, and the "they're just protecting their sensitive underbelly" argument doesn't mean a thing to me with those people. It makes far more sense with Dean, but I think a lot of the time he and Sam push each other away, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes not. I have a feeling that's not going to change for the better in coming seasons, though I hope I'm wrong.

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

Yes, this scene really overwhelmed me with the range of emotion he showed. It made me feel so deeply for him. All those years, he struggled to be what his father wanted him to be, and you can see that he's filled with self-doubt in that scene, and he's afraid and he's grieving for his mother, and he needs his father to tell him what to do. It's wrenching to watch.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Oh you put it so much better than I did, Julia :))

Self-doubt, that was the word I was looking for, he's plagued by that almost all his life, something that he's determined Sam wouldn't find out. Sam looks up to him as the big brother who's always looking out for him.

Season 4 is going to be very interesting with the change in that particular dynamics!

[majblomma.livejournal.com]

Oh God, I'd almost forgotten about this. *feels embarrassed*

Thank you so much for bringing me down the memory lane. :)))

[layne67.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome, darling. I have so much fun doing this, I love them so very much ♥

[leelust.livejournal.com]

Gosh, this scene broke me to pieces. It was first time we saw Dean like this.All previous eps were building this moment for us - plook here, mention there and now we see this side of Dean, of real Dean... and it's even more painful knowing from the end of this ep that John was there and received that call and never answer it... i know he had reasons and i know he thought good of it but i can't forgive him for that and for Sammy's call in Faith.
I wonder what Sam'd think if he'd follow Dean around that corner...

[layne67.livejournal.com]

Oh Dean would deny that he was calling John, I think. Or maybe he wouldn't deny it, it's just that Dean didn't want Sam to see or hear him so unsure of himself like that.

Funnily, I don't really hate John in this. Not in 'Faith' also, because I like to think that John did do something there, it's just that Sam didn't know about it.

The one time that I came close to disliking John was in 'Something Wicked', for leaving a nine-yr-old in charge of a four-yr-old, for days. As a mother of small kids, that was hard for me to take. But then, no one in my family had been killed by a demon!

[leelust.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure but i think maybe Dean'd go away w/o a word if Sam saw him there and even if he'd hear him. It's one of Dean's best tactics - avoid 'bad' questiong with leaving, with distraction of Sam's attention...

I don't really hate John in this. Not in 'Faith'
I don't hate John! I just can't forgive him. I know he had strong reasons and i even think that in his place maybe i'd did the same... it's not that bad not to answer your phone - bad was later when John didn't explain himself to Dean. I know he felt guilty and i know he knew Dean already forgave him but at least Dean deserved explanations...
I like to think that that call in Faith about that healer was from John's hints to his friend but the thing is it wasn't mention in the ep so it's not canon and i just want it to be canon.

The one time that I came close to disliking John was in 'Something Wicked', for leaving a nine-yr-old in charge of a four-yr-old, for days
I know and i agree. John is very complex figure and i can't say if i totally like him or not. Sometimes i love him to pieces and sometimes i want to kick his ass. But i think it's his faults that make him look real person - he's just a man who lost his beloved wife and he's not a mentor in all means he tought his sons how to survive and how to fight - the things he knew the most (as soldier). But as father... i don't know if he had that skill.

[willoweese.livejournal.com]

I love this scene so much, and it really pained me to have to leave it off my list. You're right, there's nothing more angsty than this kind of Dean, and watching it breaks my heart to this day ;)

[layne67.livejournal.com]

It's his expressions when he was leaving the voice-message to John, almost crying but not quite. I kept expecting that lone tear to come rolling down his cheek, but it didn't, and somehow that made it even more powerful than if it had!

[willoweese.livejournal.com]

I agree completely. Jensen really makes the tears believable when we see them, but even better is moments like these when you know that they are close, but he manages to hold them in.

[tj-smartz.livejournal.com]

*smishes Dean*

I loved the snarky, super cool big brother Dean. But here, I fell in love with him all over again. For proving he is vunerable. I just wanted to tuck him away from the world and keep him safe.

Great choice hon, I'm loving seeing what you love!

[layne67.livejournal.com]

This scene reminds me of the one in LDC, and I couldn't quite decide which one to choose, this phone call or the other one!